


Tattoos

by deadp0et



Category: Supernatural, destiel - Fandom, sabriel - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-04
Updated: 2016-07-24
Packaged: 2018-05-04 17:25:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 22,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5342318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadp0et/pseuds/deadp0et
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A 13th birthday is waited for in anticipation. It's the time when your life may, or may not, be changed forever. <br/>For Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak, it's the start of something amazing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Meant to Be

_Dean's P.O.V. . ._

 

"Dean, Dean," My younger brother, Sam, burst into my room. "Did you get a name yet?" I grunted as he pounced on top of me. "Sorry," His eyes widened and he scrambled off. "I didn't mean to hurt you." He looked at me with those big brown puppy dog eyes.

"You didn't hurt me, Sammy," I smiled. He snuggled into my blankets. "Are you comfortable?" He giggled. "And no, I haven't gotten a name yet. But I will." I got under the blankets with him and he automatically nuzzled himself into my side.

"I love you, Dean."

"I love you too, Sammy." I rubbed his back, knowing that he'd enjoy it.

"Sing to me." He lifted his chin and looked at me expectantly.

I gave a playful sigh, "Alright, I guess one song would be okay." He smiled and closed his eyes, resting his head on my chest. I thought about which song I would sing. "How about Hey Jude?" Mom used to sing it to us before the accident. I felt a small nod.

 _Hey Jude, don't make it bad_  
_Take a sad song and make it better_  
_Remember to let her into your heart_  
_Then you can start to make it better_

I sang the song in a very soft, smooth tone.

 _Hey Jude, don't be afraid_  
_You were made to go out and get her_  
_The minute you let her under your skin_  
_Then you begin to make it better_

Sam's breathing was getting slower, signaling sleep.

 _And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain_  
_Don't carry the world upon your shoulder_  
_For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool_  
_By making his world a little colder_  
_Na na na, na na, na na na na_

After I knew he was asleep, I stopped singing and pulled him closer, making sure he'd be safe. I slowly drifted off into sleep only a couple of minutes later.  
****  
I woke up after I don't know how long. The sun was assaulting my face and Sam was poking at my wrist. I squinted my eyes and quirked an eyebrow. "Sammy, why are you messing with my wrist?"

He looked over to me, "you got a name." Sam had never seen one before, only a couple of people in our family got names.

"What?" I quickly sat up, pulling my hand away from Sam and closer to me. Right there, in bold black letters was the name, "Castiel," I whispered the name to myself. _Peculiar name._ I softly glided my fingers over the ink that was permanently etched into my skin. "Castiel." I said it again, excitement coursing through me.

Sam watched me intently. "Dean, do you think I'll get a name on my 13th birthday?"

"I'm counting on it," I ruffled up his hair.

_Castiel's P.O.V. . ._

 

"Why don't I have it yet?" I groaned, falling back onto my bed. "I'm not going to get a name and I'll be alone forever." With a heavy sigh, I covered my eyes with my hands. "Only 23 percent of the world's population gets names. That means there's a very good chance I'll never get one and then I won't be able to find a true soul mate and my whole life is going to suck." I let out a weird whining noise.

"Don't worry, Cassie. You'll get one," My nine 10 old brother, Gabriel, sat down on my bed. "What happens if you don't like the person you're paired with?" Gabe asked, curiosity lacing his voice.

"Well," I pushed myself up so I could look at him, "it doesn't work like that. When you're paired with someone, it means you two are meant to be. Your souls are linked together in some maniacal way, both people may not get along at first but it's normal for that to happen. There's always conflict, however, if you two are paired, then you're meant to end up together. It's the natural order of things." Gabe continued to look at me, "you know, there are some people who say that if you're paired with someone, it means that you've actually got a piece of that person's soul. Which is what makes it work out so well. I don't know if I believe that, though."

"How would that work though? You can't just have a piece of your soul missing, that's silly."

I chuckled, "yeah, I guess it is." After a couple of minutes of silence, I got up off the bed. "I guess I should go shower before we have to go to dinner, you should probably go get ready, too. Dad will have a fit if you aren't." Gabe pushed himself off of my bed, he was still a little bit too small to just get off, so he had to launch himself off. "Tell mom I'm taking shower." He nodded and stepped out of my room, quietly shutting the door behind him. I smiled to myself and grabbed three towels from my closet, walking into the bathroom that was connected to my bedroom.   
After I had stripped, I stepped under the stream of hot water, sighing happily. I enjoyed it for a couple of seconds, allowing myself to relax. Grabbing my shampoo, I washed my hair, then conditioned. I rinsed my body, getting rid of the dirt and grime that had built up while I was helping my dad fix up his car. Once I was finished, I shut off the water and stepped out onto the towel I had placed on the floor so water wouldn't get everywhere. I tightly wrapped a towel around my waste and then used the other to dry my hair. I stood in front of the mirror, grabbing my tooth brush, I put some tooth paste on it and began to brush my teeth. After that was done, I spit into the sink then rinsed it out. Something caught my eye. I stopped and rotated my wrist. My breath caught. I blinked my eyes a couple of time to be sure I wasn't just seeing things. Nope. There it was, clear as day. My heart rate sped up. "Dean.." The name was foreign to me, "Dean." I said it again, trying to get used to the feel of it.  _I wonder where you are..._

3 years later

Dean's P.O.V

 

"Sammy, come on. We're going to be late." My little brother practically dragged himself out of his bedroom. "Awh, don't look so gloomy, Sammy. It's your 13th birthday!" I tried offering a warm smile. 

"Can we just go and get this over with?" He grabbed his back pack off of the couch and slung it over his shoulder, then walking out the front door letting it slam behind him. 

I sighed heavily and followed him out. "I know you're upset that Dad had to move us again," We both got into the front of my impala, "but he promised us that this would be the last time." 

"He said that a month ago, too." Sam murmured. 

I decided to drop the subject.  _He's not entirely wrong, you know._ Putting the key into the ignition, I started up the car and backed out of the driveway heading to our third high school of the year. We rode in silence, I even left the radio off, knowing it would only make Sam even more upset if I turned it on.  _You can't blame the kid, he has a hard enough time fitting in as it is, but having to move around a lot doesn't exactly help the situation._ Dad was a business man, so moving was sort of a requirement. I've been trying to convince him to buy a house and let Sam and I stay while he goes away but he's a stubborn bastard.

"I got a name, by the way." My brother's soft voice tore through the silence.

"What?" I looked over to him, shocked.

"Gabriel." He idly messed with his wrist.

"Hey," I smiled, "that's great, Sammy." He still looked upset. "This school will be our last. No matter what I have to do, I'll make it happen." He shrugged in response. I huffed out a breath as I pulled into the high school's student parking lot. My stomach suddenly flipped flopped and this really weird, foreign feeling rushed through my whole body.  _That's weird._

"Dean!" Sam yelled and my attention was brought back to the road, I slammed on my brakes. 

My heart was pounding as I realized I had almost hit someone. A kid was dark brown hair and electric blue eyes stood only a foot and a half away from Baby's front bumper. I scrambled to roll the window down. "I-I'm sorry, I should have been paying attention." The kid scowled, then flipped me off and walked away. "Have a nice day!" I yelled after him. Shaking my head, I pulled into a vacant spot and shut the car off. "My first day and I already almost killed someone," I looked over to Sam, seeing this as an opportunity to make him smile, "I usually try to wait until the first week, maybe the second." I saw a faint smile spread across my brother's lips. "Come on, let's get inside." We both got out and headed into the very large high school. "Do you want me to walk you to your first class?" He pulled his schedule from his bag. 

"No, Dean. I'll be fine." He gave me a brief hug, then walked off. 

I watched him for a couple of seconds, then grabbed my schedule from my back pocket. "Physics, room B109." I realized that the class was downstairs.   
Once I made it to the classroom, I walked in. There was only one empty seat. And it was right next to the kid I almost hit.  _Great._ I awkwardly  made my way to the seat and sat down. The boy kept his nose buried in a book, so he hadn't noticed that there was someone next to him. "Hey," He jumped. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." 

He squinted his eyes at me. "Aren't you the one who almost hit me?" 

"Yeahh," I nervously rubbed the back of my neck, "I'm sorry about that." After a couple of seconds of complete silence, the teacher spoke up. 

"Alright, guys. Pull out your books. We'll be finishing up chapter 3, and moving on to chapter four." He skimmed through his lesson plans. "Finals." That one word made at least 10 students groan. "Oh, come on. They aren't that bad. But they are, however, 50 percent of your final grade. So, if you have an F, Greenburg," He glanced towards a kid in the back of the class, "if you do good on the final exam, they'll even out your grade to a C, which is passing. Which means I won't have to re-teach you guys everything you should have learned in the first place." He kept talking about finals, and then a quiz that was coming up the next day. 

I glanced over to the kid. He seemed very familiar. 

_Weird._

******

Little did Dean know that this would be the start of something absolutely amazing. 

 


	2. Getting to Know One Another

_Dean's P.O.V. . ._

 

After the bell rang, I quickly made my way out of the science hall, and walked towards the English hall. I was jerked into a vacant hallway. "What the hell,": I was greeted by a very scared little brother. "What? What happened, Sammy?"

"I think he's here." 

"Who's here?" 

"Gabriel." He said it barely above a whisper. 

My breath caught. "No way," He nodded, "no fucking way!" I started smiling. "That's amazing, Sam."

"Calm down, I don't know if it's him or not. He said his name was Gabriel, but for all I know he didn't even get my name." He nibbled at his lower lip.

"Well, why don't you go talk to him?"

"I.." He let out a heavy breath, "I'm scared, okay?" I tried to stifle my laugh. Sam punched my shoulder. "Don't be a dick, Dean. It's not funny."

"I know, I'm sorry, Sammy." The one minute bell rang. "You better get to class."

"What do you have second?"

"I have second off, now get to class before the bell rings." He started walking away, "Hey, Sammy," He turned towards me, "try to talk to him, okay?"

"Whatever," Sam walked off.

I sat down in the hallway and pulled out my laptop. My phone buzzed in my pocket. It was my Dad. "Hey, Dad.  
"Hey, how's school going so far?"  
I chuckled. "Dad, it's only second hour."  
"Right.. I'm just worried."  
"About what? I'm doing fine.  
"But Sam isn't."  
"I think he's gonna like this school."  
"Why's that?"  
"Did he tell you he got a name this morning?"  
"No."  
"Figures," My father and Sam never really got along, "well, he got a name, Gabriel, and today, he met someone named Gabriel. Of course, Sam ran off and came to me freaking out because he wasn't sure if it was the Gabriel who's name he got, but I don't know...I have a good feeling." My Dad was silent. "Dad, what is it?"  
"I have another job,"  
My breath caught, "no."  
"Son, I have to work to afford to take of you guys."  
"We're not leaving. We can't."  
"Dean," He used his stern voice, "this isn't something we can get out of."  
"I'll figure something out. Sam and I are not leaving again."  
"Dean-"  
"Bye, Dad." I hung up and threw my phone against a row of lockers then put my head into my hands. A couple of minutes later, I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Sam, you should be in class," When I looked up, I was greeted by bright blue eyes and a mop of black hair. It was the guy I almost hit in the parking lot.

"I.. I'm sorry, I saw you throw it and," The kid hesitantly handed me my phone.

"Thanks." I took it out of his hands.

"Can I sit down?"

"Yeah, yeah," I moved my bag ad laptop out of the way and he sat down next to me.

"I forgive you, by the way," The guy's deep gravely voice made me shiver, "for almost hitting me."

"Oh, right...that," I chuckled.

"You have a nice car," The teenager seemed nervous, "I-I'm Ca-" 

"What are you guys doing?" One of the security administrators approached us. "Do you not see the sign that says 'do not sit here'?" She pointed to a sign right above our heads. We both looked up at the same time. "You need to either go to the commons, or outside of the school." She waited for us to gather our things. Once we were both up, she followed us as we quietly made our way into the commons area. After that, she dispersed. 

"What a bitch," I mumbled. I realized that the guy was looking down at his phone. I took a moment to admire his absolutely stunning features. He was breathtakingly gorgeous. "Hey," he broke eye contact with his phone screen and looked over to me, "I'm Dean Winchester," I put out my hand, but he didn't take it. Instead, his eyes widened and he just stared. "Did I... did I do something?" 

"Uhh," I watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed, "n-no, I just..." He quickly gathered his things that he had set down only 3 minutes ago. "I have to go. I'll see you around, Dean." Panicked laced his voice, yet my  name still sounded so formal coming from his mouth. I watched him as he quickly walked away, glancing back at me twice. 

 _Weird._ I sighed heavily and sat down in a corner, pulling out my phone. I just stared at the rose gold phone that I had just recently received. I couldn't pull my thoughts away from those dashing blue eyes, and that messy, yet still perfect, mop of sex hair.  _You don't even know his name yet._ I nibbled at my lip.  _Besides, he isn't even your soul mate. It would never work out. You would only be putting yourself, and him, in a position to get hurt._ My sub-conscious tried to make me see some logic in this situation.  _And he might not even be gay._ I tried to silence the voice inside my head. I pulled my tangled headphones from my front pocket and un-tangled them, sticking them into my ears and turning on Neck Deep. 

*****

I had three of my morning classes with this mysterious boy. The only class we didn't have together was IB European History. In each class, all the teachers had to do was look around and take roll. They never verbally did it. Which frustrated me, because I wanted to know this guy's name, every time I tried to approach him, he'd put in his headphones in or go use the restroom. I was beginning to think that I had done something wrong to upset him. All lunch hour, I was trying to see what I had done wrong but nothing stood out in my mind.  _I was kind to him, I introduced myself, I didn't push him away when he approached me._ I thought that it could have been me almost hitting him with my car but he said that he had forgiven me. When the bell rang signaling that 5th period was starting, I made my way to the foreign language all for my next class, IB French. When I walked into the classroom, there was only one other person in there. The teacher. "Hi," I spoke up, "I'm Dean Winchester, your new student." 

"Oh, yes!" She shuffled over to me, "I am Madam Darger," I shook her hand, "come over here," She walked over to a row of desks and sat me to the far right. "This will be your seat for the remainder of the semester," She pulled a book out from under my seat, "I'm assuming you've paid your student fees, so, here's this," She set the book down, "now, In this class, we talk strictly in French, sometimes I will allow English, but the majority of the time you spend in here, we'll be conversating in French." I nodded as she continued talking. After she was finished, I realized that a few other kids had made their way into the classroom. One of them was the guy whom I had been meaning to speak with. 

 _This is your chance._ I walked up to the teacher's desk. "Madam," She looked up, "Comment Il s'appelle?" I pointed over to the kid who had now sat down. 

"Ah," She smiled, "Il s'appelle Castiel Novak." 

My breath caught. "Castiel?" 

She nodded. "Oui." 

My heart was pounding in my chest, "Merci," I quickly made my way back to my seat.  _No way._ My head was spinning.  _There is no way that he could be-_ I thought for a moment.  _But that would explain the feeling I get when he's around me, and why he reacted the way he did when I told him my name._ My eyes widened at the possibility that he could actually be my soul mate.  _What are the odds, though? Come on, Dean. Just think about this. Out of all of the people in the world, he just happens to attend the same high school you transferred into? No. Things like that don't happen. Not to you._ I observed the kid, who I now knew as Castiel. He glanced up. Our eyes met for a couple of seconds. In that moment, I knew we had both been thinking the same thing. Castiel looked...scared? Why? He averted his eyes and kept them cast downwards. I wanted to get up and go talk to him, but now wasn't the time. We were in the middle of class and just looking at me made him seem like he was going to have a panic attack. I didn't want to make the situation worse. I huffed out a breath and slumped in my seat, watching him a little bit longer. 

_Castiel's P.O.V. . ._

 

I idly messed with my wrist, running my fingers over the dark pink scars that resided there.  _This is not good. I knew there was something different about him...why did I have to talk to him? None of this would be happening._ I could feel his eyes burning into me.  _Don't look up. Keep your eyes down._ And I did just that. The whole class period I had my nose buried in my notebook, not even paying attention to what madam Darger was saying. I had too many thoughts running around in my mind.  _Dad is going to be pissed if he finds out.._ My leg was bouncing up and down at a rapid pace and I felt like my chest was being compressed. This was the beginning of a panic attack.  _Fuck. What do I do?_ I gripped my hand  tight, trying to push it away. I hadn't brought my inhaler, or my medication. If I had a panic attack, I'd have to be rushed to the hospital.  _Come on, Castiel. Calm down. Calm down. Calm down._ I squeezed my eyes shut, praying to whatever gods there were that my body would calm itself down before my lungs started to shut down and I began to shake uncontrollably. Unfortunately, no such luck came my way. My breathing was getting shallow, and my head was spinning. "M-madam," I stuttered on my words, interrupting her lesson, I stood up, "I n-need to u-use t-the restr-room." The other students in the room were snickering, but not Dean. He looked very...concerned? The teacher nodded and I stumbled out of the classroom. "Come on, Castiel," I was trying to offer some reassurance to myself. My breathing was progressively getting worse and my hands began to shake. I made it to the bathrooms and locked myself in one of the stalls, pulling my knees up to my chest and my eyes started to water. I was shaking, crying and my breathing was labored. The stall was spinning. 

"Hello?" I heard a very masculine voice echo through the bathroom. "Castiel, are you in here?" It was Dean. 

 _Don't say anything. He'll go away soon._ It was kind of hard to stay discreet with my breathing. 

He knocked on the stall door, "Are you okay?" 

 _Don't open it,_ I looked up at the lock, I was in an excruciating amount of pain,  _maybe he can help._ I brought a shakey hand up to the nob and pulled it fre, allowing the door and slowly creak open. 

"Hey," Dean knelt down beside me, "are you having a panic attack?" I subtly nodded. "Alright, come on," He picked me up, putting on my arms over his shoulder. 

"W-what are y-you d-doing?" I gripped onto his shirt, trying to catch my breath. 

"Just try to stay calm, okay?" He ran me out into the parking lot, then to his car. "Can you stand?" I nodded and he set me against his car, opening up the passenger door and opening up the glove compartment. "Damnit, where is it?" He searched through the small space frantically. "Fuck," I began to cough, I gripped onto my chest, which now felt like it was on fire, my whole body was shaking. I had to sit down. "Hey, hey," He bent down beside me, "I want you to take in a deep breath for four seconds, hold it for three, and exhale for six. Can you do that?" I gave a small nod as he got up and opened up the trunk, "Here it is," He rounded the car and handed me an inhaler. I looked up to him. "Just use it." I put the red L shaped thing up to my lips and pressed down the button, inhaling the vapor that was pushed out. I held it in for a couple of seconds, then exhaled. I repeated this motion a couple more times until I was able to breath semi normally. I tried handimg the thing back to him, but he declined. "Hold onto it in case you need it again." He sat down next to me. "Are you doing okay?" I shook my head. "I wouldn't expect you to be, do you have benzodiazepines with you?" I shook my head again, "I think I have some in the backseat, hold on." He got up and opened up the passenger side's back door. 

 _Why does he have benzodiasepines in his car?_ I watched as he searched for a couple of seconds, coming out with a small silver packer containing two micro pills inside. He handed them to me, along with a water bottle. "Thank you," Once I opened up the packet, I popped the small circular pills into my mouth, taking a drink of water to wash them down. I sighed heavily, putting my head into my hands waiting for the medication to take its course. 

"What was that all about?" Dean had taken the spot next to me. I didn't answer him. "Come on, I know that you have my name.." His eyes quickly looked at my left wrist, then back up to me. "And I know that you know I've got yours." He lifted up his left sleeve, revealing my name engraved clearly in black ink. My breath caught. "Why did you freak out when I told you my mine?" 

I stood up, falling off balance, but quickly catching myself, "Look, I appreciate you helping me out, but I really don't think we should be speaking. If you'll excuse me," I tried to walk away but Dean grabbed onto my arm. 

"Hold on." He held onto me. 

"No," I pulled away, "you don't understand. I  _can't_ talk to you. I have to go." I watched him for a couple of seconds before shaking my head and walking away, trying to ignore the hurt and confused look. _It's better this way._ I walked back into the school, soon being greeted by my little brother plowing into me. "Watch it, Gabriel." My tone was harsher than I had meant it to be. Gabe's face fell. I sighed. "I'm sorry, Gabe. Just a bad day."

He nodded in understanding as we began walking towards the library. "I need to tell you something.." His voice faltered for a moment, "I met him today."

I stopped. "You what?"

"I just started talking to him and-"

I pushed him against the locker. "You are _not_ to talk to him." My voice deepened.

"But, Cassie-"

"No," I pointed a stern finger, "you know what Dad will do to you." He looked up to me, fear clearly in his eyes. "If I see you talking to him, I'll be the one to punish you and not him." My little brother's face was filled with fear. My heart sank once I realized what I had done to him. "Gabe, I-I'm sorry," I stepped back.

"It's fine," He turned away from me, like he always does when he cries, "you're right. I'll stay away from him." Without another word, Gabe walked away. I wanted to go after him, but I knew that he'd only push me away.

 _Good going, Castiel. You upset Gabe._ I mentally started kicking myself. _You could have been less of an asshole. You're just like him..._ My sub-conscious wasn't entirely wrong. I growled low in my throat and punched a locker. This day has been complete shit.

_Dean's P.O.V. . ._

 

 _Did I do something wrong?_ I kept replaying the conversation Castiel and I had just had only 20 minutes previously. "None of this makes sense," I looked down to my hands, trying to see where I went wrong.

"Hey," Sam approached me, "can we go home?"

I looked up to him. "What happened?"

He shook his head, "nothing, I just want to go home."

"Come on, Sam. I know you better than that. Now what happened?"

"He told me he couldn't talk to me," Just by the tone of Sam's voice, I could tell what he was talking about, "we were talking, and getting to know one another and he said he'd be back in a little bit, but when he came back.. he said that things between me and him wouldn't work out. What does that even mean?" His voice cracked, "we're soul mates, obviously we're meant to work out." He sighed. "I don't know this upset me so much...we just met less than 5 hours ago."

"It's the emotional tie between the two of you guys. You connect almost automatically. Knowing your soul mate for a month could feel like 5 years. The bond you guys share is made the second you two meet, it's natural for you to feel the way you are right now." Sam looked at me, shocked that I knew all of that. "Same thing happened to me, Sammy."

"You met him today, too?" Sam's voice was laced with interest.

"Yeah." I sighed.

"What happened?"

I shrugged. "I honestly don't know, he just kind of...snapped at me, then left." I fished around in my pocket for my keys. "Let's get back to the hotel."

****

Once we arrived there, my Dad's truck was parked in front of the room. "Great," I mumbled, parking Baby right next to my Dad's car. Sam and I got out at the same time. "Look, Sam, Dad has some news-"

"Hey, boys." John smiled at the two of us as he walked out of the room. "What are you guys doing home so early?"

"Bad day," Sam sighed.

"Awh, that's to bad." My dad offered a half smile, "drop your stuff off in the room, we're going somewhere." Sam and I looked at each other for a couple of seconds, then did as we were told. "Do you wanna take my truck or your car?"

I shrugged. "Your truck is fine." After we had all gotten in, John drove off. "Where are we going?"

He looked...excited? "You'll see."

Sam had his headphones in and was looking out the window. My heart ached for him, mainly because I knew exactly how he was feeling. Except, he just got Gabriel's name this morning, and meeting your soul mate the day you get their name is almost unheard of, but to have him tell Sam that he couldn't talk to him anymore...it probably felt like someone had ripped Sam's heart out and thrown it into a blender. I wanted to tell him he'd be okay, but how could I tell him that if I myself didn't even know if I would be okay? Kind of hypocritical if you ask me.   
***  
I was torn away from my thoughts when my Father pulled up in front of a fairly big house. "What are we doing here?" Without a word, he got out of the truck and motioned for Sam and I to follow. Sam took his headphones out and left his phone on the seat. "Dad," After I had helped Sam down, I turned my attention back towards him, "what are we doing here?"

John's smile spread across his whole face, I don't think I'd seen him smile like this since Mom passed away. "What do you guys think? About the house, I mean?"

"Uhh," I looked at the house and the front yard, as well as the surrounding houses, "I like it."

"How about you, Sam?" My Dad caught Sammy's attention.

"I think it's alright."

John's smile widened. "Dad, you're scaring me."

He laughed, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, It's just..." He looked behind him at the 'sold' sign on the front lawn, my eyes followed his.

"No.." I shook my head, "you didn't-"

"I did." He continued to emanate his excitement.

"Dad! No way!" I pulled him into my arms. "After all this time of me bugging you, you finally did it." Once he had pulled away, we both looked over to Sam. "Sammy, what's going through your head?"

"No more moving?"

John chuckled, "no more moving."

"So Dean and I can stay here? We won't have to leave again?"

"That's right, Kiddo." John pulled Sam over and ruffled his hair. We all stood in front of the house.

_Maybe this can be the start of something new._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who have never had a panic attack, the description I gave in this chapter with literally nothing compared to what it actually feels like, but hey, I tried


	3. Don't walk away

_Castiel's P.O.V. . ._

 

I woke up to the sound of a truck being backed up. The steady 'beep beep' of the truck made me stir. "Ugh," Groaning, I rolled out of bed and sleepily made my way over to the window. Pulling my shades up, I squinted as the sun light poured into the room. There was a moving truck backing into a driveway right across the street. I watched as someone got out, along with a kid, another car pulled up in front of the house, but I couldn't tell who was driving. The kid who had gotten out of the moving truck looked up to me and I waved. He waved back. After that, I closed my shades and jumped back into bed, only to have someone walk into my room 10 seconds later.

"Time to get up, Cassie." I recognized the voice as Gabriel's

"It's too early," I snuggled into my pillow and pulled the blankets up to my nose.

"It's 12 in the afternoon, Castiel." He chuckled.

"Exactly, these are my prime sleeping hours." I rolled my eyes. "I know you're shaking your head at me, Gabe." He laughed, then walked out of the room. The door clicking softly behind him. Once I had gotten comfortable, I closed my eyes as sleep washed over me. I jumped when the doorbell rang. "Goddamn it," It rang twice more, "Gabriel, are you gonna get that?" I called after him. The bell rang again. "For fuck's sake," I groggily got out of bed and padded down the stairs, then through the living room. The bell rang again, I reached for the nob and pulled the door open. I was greeted by the kid I had seen get out of the moving truck earlier.

"Hey," He seemed embarrassed, "I don't mean to bug you, but my brother, Dad and I.. we just bought the house and we're trying to get this dresser inside...we kind of need four people.. I saw you up in your window and I just..." He rubbed the back of his neck, "I was just wondering if you could help."

He reminded me of Gabriel. I smiled. "Of course I can help, let me just go change out of my pajamas." He stood there awkwardly. "Do you want to come in? I think we have some of those uhh," I snapped my fingers, trying to think of what they were called, "they're called Naked, they're smoothie drinks. My younger brother seems to be fond of them, you can come in and grab one if you'd like." He smiled. I stepped out of the way so he could step into the house. I shut the screen door, but left the wooden door open. "I'm going to run upstairs and change real quick," I opened up the fridge and handed him one of the smoothie drinks, "just wait right here," I jogged upstairs and walked into my room, quickly stripping out of my pajama pants and baggy white T-shirt, replacing them with a pair of skinny jeans and a Nirvana shirt. "Alright," I padded down the stairs again, "let's go." The kid was waiting patiently by the doorway. I slipped my shoes on. "So what's your name?" I opened the screen door for him.

"Sam, my name's Sam." _Why did that name sound so familiar?_ He walked down my driveway with me following closely. "What's your name?" He glanced back at me.

"Castiel," I offered a smile.

The kid's demeanor changed almost instantly. "Your name's Castiel?"

I nodded. "Yep, has been since the day I was born."

Without another word, Sam led me to garage. "Dad," A man turned around, "this is Castiel. He's going to help us." His Father seemed shocked for a couple of minutes, but it faded away.

"Ah, yes," He smiled, putting his hand out for me to take. "I'm John." I took his hand and shook it. "Thank you for helping us."

"Yeah, no problem," I looked around, "Sam, didn't you say you had a brother?"

"Oh, yeah," Sam shifted around awkwardly, "he's probably inside of the house, he'll be out in a moment," he scurried into the house, leaving me and his Dad.

_Dean's P.O.V. . ._

 

I finished sweeping up all of the dust that had accumulated over the past couple of months. Smiling, I looked around at our new house. "Dean," I lightly jumped as Sam walked into the room,

"Jesus, Sammy," I chuckled, "you need to be louder."

"Dean," He looked flustered, "Castiel is-" He stuttered on his words, pointing towards the front door, "he's out there with Dad, please don't be mad at me, I didn't know who he was until we had already left and were making our way here and I-"

"Hold on," I put my hand up, "slow down, Sam. I can barely understand you."

He sighed. "Castiel is out there."

My breath caught as I peered over Sam's shoulder. "He is? Why?"

"We needed help moving my dresser, so I walked across the street and he answered the door...I didn't know his name until after we had left. I'm sorry." Sam looked terrified.

"Sammy, why are you sorry? You know I'm not mad."

"I know," His face fell, "it's just...I know that the last conversation you two had didn't end well, I just thought that you'd be upset with me for bringing him here...kind of like that time I accidentally dented your impala." He slied away.

I chuckled, trying not to show him how nervous I was, "It's alright, Sam. Let's go out there." We both stepped onto the front porch and I sucked in a breath. _Stop being such a panzy. I'm sure he'll be mature about this._ I rolled my eyes at my sub conscious. _Yeah, because he was so mature the last time you two talked._ We made our way over to the moving truck where my Dad was talking. "Hey, Dad," He turned to face me, and a couple of seconds later, Castiel did the same thing. His eyes widened and I could almost feel the pounding of his heart. "Hey ya, Cas." I offered a very small smile.

"I-uhh.." He stuttered, "h-hey, Dean." I watched his adam's apple bob as he swallowed hard.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" He nodded. "Sam, Dad, we'll be back shortly," I turned and made my way back into the house, Castiel trailing behind me. Once inside, I turned around to face him. "Look, I didn't know you lived-" He watched me intently, "I didn't realize my brother would-" I sighed gruffly, "I'm just sorry. You don't have to help us out of you don't want to."

Castiel looked scared. "I do want to help but..." He seemed to be thinking, "I can't explain, I have to go." He walked out of the door.

 _Damnit._ After a couple of minutes had past, I walked outside. "Hey, so Castiel said-" I stopped short when I saw both Castiel and someone else standing in the garage. "Who's this?"

The man smiled at me. "I'm Jimmy, Castiel's father." He put his hand out and I shook it. "I was just telling your dad were that we'd love to help you get everything moved in, that is, if you want us to, of course." He moved to put his arm around his son, Castiel flinched. "Isn't that right, Castiel?"

"Yes, Sir." His body was stiff.

I eyed his dad wearily. My Dad cleared his throat. "Thank you, both of you. We could really use all of the help we can get."

"I can see that," Jimmy peered into the moving truck, "where did you guys move from?"

"Well, my boys and I move around a lot, we didn't exactly have one designated place, hence why we bought this house." He pulled us both close to him. "I knew that my boys needed a forever home, so I upped and bought this place."

Castiel's Dad smiled. "Well, I can tell you'll be great neighbors. You mentioned that you move around a lot, is it apart of your job?" John nodded. "Well, whenever your father is out of town," He looked to me, then to Sam, "if either of you need anything, don't hesitate. We're right across the street. Either myself or Castiel will be there to help.

I was still glaring at Jimmy. Sam nudged me. "What?" I whispered.

"Well," John spoke up, "we should probably get started with all of this stuff."   
****  
After about 5 and a half hours, everything was in the new house. Castiel, Sam and I were all sitting in the living room. My Dad and Jimmy had gone out to pick up some dinner. The room's atmosphere was pure awkwardness and tension. I looked around, watching Castiel idly mess with his skinny jeans, and Sam was watching Castiel intently. "Sam-"

"So Gabriel is your brother?" My brother spoke over me.

Castiel looked up. "Sure is."

"Hmm," Sam mumbled, "that's weird...Dean getting your name, and me getting Gabriel's, then the fact that you two are brothers like Dean and I." I could see the tiny little cranes rotating in his head. "Statistically speaking, that's almost unheard of. I mean, it's rare to get a name, let alone two brothers to get the same names as another set of brothers, it's-

"Sam," I repeated his name again, catching his attention. I gave him a look that said 'stop-talking-about-it'. He blushed then looked away. "I'm sorry if he's making things more awkward," I tried to offer Castiel an apologetic smile.

"It's alright," Castiel chuckled, "he reminds me of Gabe."

I watched him for a couple of minutes. "Sam, could you give Castiel and I a couple of minutes?" Without a word, Sam got up and walked up the stairs into his bedroom.

"Look, Cas," I stopped, "may I call you Cas?" He nodded. "I know this is awkward for the both of us, but, we need to talk about this."

"What is there to talk about?"

"What is there to-" I sighed, "Cas, the last time we spoke, you lost it on me. All I was doing was trying to help and all the sudden you just...blew up, out of no where. Then you avoid me even though we have 6 classes together, 8 if you include our off hours." He didn't say anything, "we both know that no matter what, we'll always be pushed together again. So maybe, instead of trying to fight it, we-"

"We what, Dean?" Castiel's deep, gravely voice rang out.

"Well, for lack of a better term, we...date." Cas shook his head. "What? Is 'date' a bad word now?"

"It is when your family would rather you lose your limbs before going out with a guy." He looked upset. "You just couldn't leave it alone, could you?"

"Leave what alone?"

"Me!" Cas raised his voice.

A wave of anger washed through me. "Oh, yeah, you're right. I chose your name, I made all of this happen. I'm sorry."

"Dean, we really shouldn't be doing this." He got up. "When my Dad gets back, tell him I walked home."

I quickly got up, "wait, Cas," Grabbing his sleeve, I stopped him, "don't walk away." Without another word, I pulled him in close to me, bringing our lips together. It was like kissing an angel, his lips were astonishingly soft and they mended together perfectly with mine. The kiss was sweet and passionate. I felt as though parks were flying above our heads. The whole world seemed to stop, everything faded away and in that moment, it was just Castiel and I. Kissing. He pulled away, my lips immediately missing the presence of Cas'.

"Dean, why would you-" He stopped short, looking up to me with those dazzling cobalt blue eyes, "do you know how long I waited?" He was talking just barely above a whisper.

"Hmm?"

"I had so many different images of you in mind, how you would look and act. How you would smell...even how you would talk," he chuckled softly, "ever since they day that your name appeared on my wrist, I made up these ridiculous scenarios In my mind that one day, you'd come find me, riding a beautiful white stallion and dressed in amour, then the scenario changed. I imagined you coming up to me, looking down at me, your eyes filled with pure love and joy and you stroked my cheek and told me how handsome I was...but then you actually showed up...the way I imagined you in my head did not do you any justice." I watched him as he continued to talk, "you're greater than anything I ever imagined.." He brought him voice down to a whisper again, "but I'm scared that my family won't want anything to do with me once they find out,"

I could tell the idea of losing his family hurt him. "Hey," I put my pointer finger under his chin and pulled his eyes up back to mine, "you want to know something?" He nodded slowly. "For years, I always tried to imagine what it would be like when I met you. How I would feel, the way I would react...when I saw you for the first time in that parking lot, I felt...happy again. I haven't felt that way since the day my mom passed away, but when I found you...it's like some part of me was woken up, a part of me that was buried deep, deep, deep down inside of me. You brought that out. You made me feel things I didn't even know I could feel anymore. And that was just within the matter of minutes, every time I see you, I get that feeling only it comes back 10 times stronger each time. Just imagine how it'll be in 6 months from now, a year.. 5 years..." I watched him adoringly, "seeing you was like love at first site. I never knew that I could fall for someone so quickly.. even with them being my soul mate," I nudged him softly, "I want you to be mine. Forever."


	4. Second Thoughts

_Castiel's P.O.V. . ._

 

"Baby, come here," Dean opened his arms and I smiled, falling down onto his chest. He laughed soflty and wrapped his arms around me, kissing me on the top of my head. "I missed you today." I responded with a quiet hum. We stayed like this, the silence consuming us. Allowing us to revel in the feel of just being lost in one another. It was such an amazing feeling, being in the arms of the person you know you're going to spend the rest of your life with. You felt almost as if you were floating, yet at the same time, the person you love still kept you grounded. Dean kept me grounded. "Hey, Cas," his deep, rough voice pulled me from my thoughts, "look at me." I rolled off of him and propped myself up with my arm so we were now face to face. He observed me for a couple of moments. "I love you a lot, you know that?" My breath caught and my heart rate sped up. "I mean that, Castiel. I love you..I'm in love with you. I have been since the second I laid eyes on you." He brought his hand to my cheek and lightly stroked it with his thumb. "You mean everything to me, Castiel Novak." He brought his lips to mine in a sweet and soft kiss. Everything was just so peaceful...pure bliss.  
That feeling quickly evaporated when I heard the door swing open, hitting the wall harshly. I jumped at the sound, before I got the chance to see who it was, I was yanked away from Dean by the hem of my shirt. I fell so the floor and groaned at the sudden burst of pain. "You little faggot," I instantly stiffed at the sound of the voice I was hearing. It was my father. "I can't believe you." He kicked me on my lower back. "Get up!" He kicked me again, only this time harder. "I said," He grabbed the hem of my shirt again, "get up." I was pulled to my feet and I turned to face him. "You're no child of mine." He brought his right hand up and striked me across the face. "You're a disgrace." He did it again. "You're nothing but a worthless little fag." Tears were streaming down my face, he raised his hand again and my eyes met his. I saw nothing but pure rage and hatred. He was about to strike me again..  
***  
I jolted awake, a cold bead of sweat forming on my left temple. my body was shaking, and my breathing was labored. I raked a hand through my hair, which was damp with sweat. "Cassie," I jumped as I heard my door slowly creak open, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." Gabe stood in my doorway. "Did you have another nightmare?" I didn't reply. "Can I lay with you?" 

"Yeah, yeah. Of course. Come here." I patted the spot next to me on my bed and Gabe shut my door, lightly padding over and getting in. "Did you have a bad dream?" He shook his head and laid back onto the pillow, looking up at me. "Then why did you want to come lay with me?" 

"I just.." He seemed hesitant, "I know you've been having nightmares...I just want to make sure that you're okay." He looked up at me with those innocent puppy dog eyes. "Is this about Dean?" He knew that Dean and I had been dating for about two months now, I never hid anything from him. "If it is, I understand your apprehention. I've been worried about Sam and I." He and Sam got togehter shortly after Dean and I did. "I'm scared that Dad is going to find out. I don't want him to get angry.." I never ever let my father touch Gabe, but he still knew. Every time my Dad would tell me to go to the basement, Gabe knew what was coming. "But we can't continue to be so fearful of him. If we just told Sam's Dad what's happening, what dad does to you-"

"No," I shook my head, "you know we can't do that, Gabe." 

"Why not?" 

"The state will separate us, you and I won't be able to see eachother ever again. We'd be separated from Sam and Dean. That's why we can't tell John." My Dad hadn't beaten me in a good 3 months, but from past experience, this doesn't last longer than 4 months. "Gabe, I promise you'll be okay." 

He nibbled at his bottom lip. "What about you?" 

I smiled and laid back down, "I'll be okay, too." He offered a half smile in return. "Now, go to bed before I kick you out." He lightly chuckled and rolled over so his back was facing me. I just laid there, staring at the ceiling. Was it really wise of me to allow myself into Dean's life? Was it wise to allow Gabe into Sam's? I was honestly starting to have second thoughts.  _No, Castiel. Everything will be fine. Just a couple of more months until you and Gabe can get out of this hell hole._ I sighed gruffly, turning over onto my side and letting my eyes flutter shut, allowing sleep to wash over me. 

****

_Dean's P.O.V. . ._

 

"Dean, get a move on would you?" Sam yelled at me from the bottom of the stairs, "we've got 5 minutes until Dad gets home." I grabbed a shoe and chucked it down the stairs, hoping it would his Sammy and make him shut up. "Nice try, Deano." I groaned and tried to fix my tie. "What's taking so long, anyways?" Whenever my Dad came back from a hunt, we would always go out to dinner as family, and this time, my Dad told us that we were going somewhere fancy, and he invited Castiel, as well as Gabe, so I was trying to make myself look as best as I could. I was wearing one of my Dad's FBI suits, one that he had grown out of. The overcoat and pants were a deep maroon, and the dress shirt was white, the tie was maroon as well. I looked at myself in the mirror, making sure everything looked perfect. "Dean, come on!" 

"I'm coming, Sam. Calm down." I straighened my collar out a bit and opened my door, lightly galloping down the steps. "What do you think?" I made a full 360 turn where I stood. 

"I think you look like a rich white boy." I rolled my eyes and ruffled up his hair. "Hey!" He glared at me as he fixed the hair I has just messed up. 

"Looks like Dad is here," His black truck pulled into the driveway and he honked. Sam and I walked out and I locked the door behind me, slipping the key into my pocket. "Hey, Dad." We both smiled at him as we got into the truck. "You look..good." He was cleanly shaven, no cuts or bruises (none visable, anyways). "It looks like your hunt went pretty well." 

"What does that mean?" He twisted in his seat so he could look behind him to see if Castiel and Gabe were walking over here. 

"It means you didn't get your ass kicked like you usually do." I smirked and he scoffed. 

"Oh please. Let's not forget how you got thrown around like a ragdoll by the kid angel, what was his name?" He turned to look at me, "uhh, Austin," he shook his head, "no, that wasn't it. Alex? No. That wasn't it either."

"Alfie, his name was Alfie, and in my defense, he was an angel. Those fuckers are the worst." My Dad chuckled lightly and I shifted so I could look behind me, seeing that Cas and Gabe were coming up. I hopped out of the truck and my breath caught. Castiel looked so good.. "Damn," My mouth went dry. "You look good in black." His eyes seemed like an even more deep cobalt blue in the suit he was wearing. He looked absolutely stunning. I noticed that his bow tie was kind of crooked, "here," I raised my hands so I could straighen it out. "There." 

"Thanks," Castiel looked at me, nothing but admiration in his eyes. 

"You're welcome." I looked over to Gabe. "You look great, kid." He blushed. I opened the back seat door so Gabe could climb in with Sam. "Do you want to sit next to my Dad?" I focused my attention to Cas. He shrugged. "Alright," I stepped to the side so he could get in, I helped him up, "accidentally" grabbing his ass in the process. Once he was in, I jumped back into the seat and shut the door. "Let's go." My Dad back the car out of the driveway and headed towards downtown Denver. "Dad, where are we going?" This is the first time Sam and I have been able to explore our new city. 

"A place called the Cheesecake Factory." I nodded and looked out of the window as we passed Coors Field, home of the Colorado Rockies. I smiled and continued observing my surroundings. There were plenty of bars with rooftop seating, there was a lot of buildings. I wasn't used to such a big cities. I'm from Lawerence, Kansas, which isn't too small but I neevr really went into the heart of the city, and whenever we would travel, Sam and I stayed in the hotel room unless Dad needed us, which didn't leave mmuch time to explore. This was such an amazing experience. I loved it down here. I was a little bummed when my Dad parked. We all filed out of the car. "Let me feed the meter then we'll go in." The sun was just starting to set, so it would be dark soon. We all headed into the restaurant.   
After dinner, Castiel and I decided we'd take a cab home so we could just walk around for a little while. Dad took Sammy and Gabriel home. Cas and I were walking down the 16th street mall, our hands entertwined. "It's goreous down here, isn't it?" I marveled at all of the lights, it gave the outside mall a homey feel. Castiel laughed. "What?" I turned to look at him. 

"You just look so fascinated. You're like a puppy exploring the backyard for the first time." He was smiling. "It's so cute." I blushed. Castiel gasped. "Do my eyes decieve me? Is Dean Winchester blushing?" 

"Shut up,"

"Make me." Castiel caught his bottom lip in between his teeth.

"Don't do that,"

He stopped walking, "do what?" 

"Bite your lip like that," He furrowed my brows, "it's very distracting." It took him a couple of seconds to realize that is was a turn on for me. I did it again, only this time more provacatively. "Castiel," my voice was laced with warning, he smirked. "You're such a tease." My voice was low and husky. I grabbed into his hand and pulled him into the nearest vacant alleyway, pushing him against the pall, pinning his hands above his head. "Is it just me or did it just get extremly hot?" He laughed as I brought my lips to his in a rough, yet sensual kiss, my tongue barging into his mouth. Cas squirmed loose and softly pushed me away.

"Dean, not here, okay?" I nodded in understanding. "Let's walk around some more, explore a little bit." He put his hand out and I took it, walking out of the alleyway and back onto the 16th street mall. "You know, I've lived here all of my life  and I never really ever explored downtown denver." 

"Really?" I quirked my eyebrows. 

"Yeah, I've just always stayed home, and gone to school, that's about it." He kept his eyes cast forward. "I honestly don't really have many friends, no one wants to hangout with me." 

"Why not?" 

"Because I'm weird, and no one wants to hangout with the weird kid." I could practically feel his mood go from 100 to 0. 

"Hey," I stopped walking, Castiel following suit. "Look at me." His eyes met mine. "You are not weird, you're just different. There's nothing wrong with different." I placed my hand on his cheek and stroked it with my thumb. "You're so amazing, Castiel. I honestly feel bad for everythone who's missing out on the chance to be your friend. They really don't know how big of a mistake they're making."

He smiled. "Thank you, Dean." 

"You're welcome, babe." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, I know. I'll write a lot more later.


	5. Skeletons in the closet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is going to be bouncing back and forth between dean and Cas & the secrets their hiding from one another, also this chapter gets kind of graphic. Fair warning.

_Castiel's P.O.V. . ._

 

I took in a slow and very concentrated breath.  _C'mon, Cas. You can do this._ I fought the urge to whimper from the pain just breathing in brought me. I stared at myself in the mirror, unsure if I wanted to see what my skin looked like underneath my shirt. I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth and carefully brought the shirt up, exposing the seas of black, blues, and purples. My breath caught.  _It has never been this bad before._ Someone knocked on the door and I jumped. "W-who is it?" I quickly dropped my shirt and straightened my back. 

"It's me," Dean opened the door and poked his head in, "you've been in here for a good minute, I just wanted to make sure that you were okay." I nodded and he walked in, closing the door behind him. "Come here," He pulled me into his arms and I gritted my teeth. The pain was overwhelming. "I love you, you know that?" He kissed my forehead and I sighed deeply, which wasn't a good idea. "Are you feeling okay? You look a bit bit pale." 

"Yeah, I'm fine." I forced a smile. "And I love you, too." He stared at me for a couple of seconds, "let's go back downstairs before my Dad comes up here." I kissed him then walked out of the bathroom and down the steps back to where John, Sam, and my father were all hanging out.

"Are you feeling alright? You were in there for quite some time." John looked genuinely concerned. 

"I'm fine," My ribs were screaming at me, "just a little nauseas is all. Must have been the chinese." My dad gave me a warning stare. "Anyways," I sat back down a little too quickly and it took everything I had not to scream, "what'd I miss?" 

Dean trotted down the stairs. "Not much, just Dad and Sam arguing about who makes the best beef pot pies." 

"Which is me, by the way." Sam interjected.

John scoffed. "You wish." 

Dean rolled his eyes. "They're both great, but we all know none of them are better than mine." We all chuckled collectively, except me. It hurt to breathe much less laugh. All I wanted to do was go up to my room and lay down but I knew if I did that my dad would get angry with me and that's why I was in this situation in the first place. "Cas," Dean pulled me from my thoughts, "are you okay?" 

I plastered a smile onto my face. "I'm fine, just a little tired is all." 

"He didn't sleep very well last night." My dad spoke up. I kept my mouth shut. "I think it's time y'all go home. Let Castiel rest." John nodded in agreement and got up, Sam and Dean following suit. I stood and my dad put his arm around me. "We'll see you guys a little later." I offered a small smile and waved goodbye as the walked out the door. After they left, my dad locked it and turned to face me. 

_Oh no._

"Go up to your room, and stay there. You won't be eating dinner tonight." I meekly nodded and was about to head up the steps when he spoke up again, "oh, and give me your phone."

_Dean's P.O.V. . ._

 

It had been an hour or so since we left Cas' place and I found myself checking my phone every two minutes. He hasn't texted or called me and I knew that I was being clingy but I couldn't help it. I really enjoyed talking to Cas. I was pulled from my thoughts when I heard a knock on my door. "It's open." 

My Dad walked in, "I've got a case, looks like a nest of vamps," he paused for a second, "I was uhh..I was thinking you and I could go. It should only take a day, two at the most, so you won't miss any school," I was about to speak up but he interrupted, "I already asked Sammy and he said he and Sam had plans. I thought it'd be a good chance to catch up with you...we don't get much alone time together." 

As close as my Dad and I may seem, he isn't wrong there. "Uhm," I checked my phone one last time to see if Cas had texted me about hanging out over the weekend. Nothing. I sighed inwardly. "Nothing screams "father son bonding" quite like hunting a nest of vampires." 

John smiled. "We've gotta leave tonight, so pack your things." And with that, he left my bedroom and shut the door. 

I leaned back in the desk chair I was sitting in.  _Maybe this isn't such a good idea.._ I hadn't even thought about Castiel in this whole situation. He has no idea what my Dad does for a living and I wanted to keep it that way. This was the first time in a long time that I was finally happy, I didn't have to worry about hunting getting in the way of school, or friends, or relationships. Sammy and I finally had a house and not a gross, musty hotel room every time my Dad got a new case. This is the first time since my mom died that my family has actually been stable. That's why I've been adamantly avoiding going hunting with my father. I'm scared that this stability I have found won't last.  _Oh, just go. One hunt won't hurt anything._ Sighing gruffly, I pushed myself up and walked into the closet pulling my duffle bag off of the top shelf and shoving a pair of blue jeans, a pair of black sweats, a guns n' roses tee, and a hoodie into the bag. After that was done, I walked into the bathroom attached to my room and grabbed the toothpaste as well of the toothbrush that was sitting on the counter.  _What am I forgetting.._ I thought for a couple of seconds.  _Oh!_ I left the bathroom and went to the side of my bed to unplug my phone charger, as well as grabbing the gold locket from my night stand. I stuffed the cord and wall plug into the duffle and zipped it up, then put the necklace around my neck. I pulled the locket up to my lips and kissed it.  _I love you, Mom._  
_After I was done packing, I pulled my phone from my pocket and checked it again. Still radio silence. I hope he doesn't text me after I leave._ If there was one thing I hated more than hunting, it would have to be lying to people. Especially people I love. It just feels wrong. "Dad, I'm ready." I put the strap of the duffle on my shoulder and padded down the stairs. 

"Sam, we're leaving. There's money in the freezer. If we're not back by Sunday night, call Bobby." My dad grabbed his bag and he headed out the door. 

"I love you, Sammy." 

He called back to me from his bedroom. "Love you too, Dean. Stay safe." 

I walked out into the crisp autumn air, letting my eyes drift up to Castiel's room right across the street. His light was on.  _I wonder why he hasn't texted me..._ I shrugged it off and put my bag into the passenger seat of Baby, my beloved '67 chevy impala. My Dad got into his black '86 two-door GMC sierra grande. "Hey, where are we going again?" 

"Grand Junction." He shut his door and started up the black beast, that's a nickname Sammy and I gave his truck the day he got it. I got into Baby and shut the driver's door, starting her up. 

"Ahh, listen to her purr." I rubbed the dash and patted it a couple of times. I treat this car better than most humans.   
I watched as John pulled away from the curb, once he was out of the way, I slowly backed out onto the street and got behind him. We headed to wadsworth, then to the highway.  _Three hour drive here I come._ I turned on the radio and "Carry on Wayward Son" by Kansas started blaring through the speakers.   
*****  
Once we got to Grand Junction, we both pulled over at a gas station. I didn't need need to fill up so I parked the car and got out to use the restroom and grab some snacks. I still hadn't heard from Cas.  _Maybe he just went straight to bed, his dad did say he needed some rest._ I walked into the restroom and did my business, I was washing my hands when my phone went off. I was hoping that it would be Cas, but it wasn't. It was my Dad. 

_John; The address of the motel is 718 horizon drive, I'll see you when you get there._

I took that as his way of saying that he had already left the gas station. I dried my hands and walked out, grabbing a back of chips and a gatorade. The guy at the registar rang me up and I left. When I stepped outside, I noticed that there was no one else here but me. Shrugging it off, I pulled my keys from my pocket and set the chips and drink on the roof of the car so I could get into the trunk and grab my cord from my bag. When I opened up the trunk, I suddenly felt the hairs on the back of my next stand up. There was someone behind me. My heart rate spiked but I remained calm, slowly reaching for the machete I had back there. When I had my hand on it, I quickly turned around and swung. Blood splattered onto my shirt as the head rolled away and the body of the guy I just killed fell to the ground. "Jesus fucking christ," I tired to slow my heart rate as I walked over to the head to check it out. I bent down and checked the teeth. It was a vampire. Sighing, I was about to push myself up when something hard hit my head and I fell to the ground, everything around me slowly fading to black. 

  _Castiel's P.O.V. . ._

 

"Come on, Dean. Pick up." I paced my room as the phone rang over and over again, eventually going to voicemail, I waited for the 'beep' sound before I started talking. "Hey, Dean. I saw you leave last night, I'm sorry I didn't text you. I kind of just...fell asleep. Anyways, please call me back. I'm a little worried." I pressed 'end' and decided to text him again, making this the eighth..no, ninth time. I was starting to panic because he never takes so long to reply. I have been calling him and messaging him since my dad gave me my phone back, which was 7 hours ago. I was pulled from my thoughts when the doorbell rang. I peeked out of my window to see who it was.  _Perfect!_ I practically flew down the stairs and greeted him. "Hi, Sam, come in." I stepped out of the way and he walked into the house. "Have you uhh..have you heard from Dean? He just..he hasn't texted me all day and I saw him leave last night." 

"He hasn't answered you at all?" I shook my head. Sam's face went pale.

"Hi, Sam." Gabe came down the stairs. 

"I have to go." He darted out of my house and across the street to his. 

"Was it something I said?" Gabe looked over to me. Rolling my eyes, I went back upstairs and shut my door, no more than five minutes later, it opened again. 

"I don't know what was wrong with Sam, go away." 

"Is that any way to talk to your father?" My heart stopped and I gulped, slowly turning around. I opened my mouth to say something, but he beat me to the punch. "Don't speak. I want you downstairs in 10 minutes." And with that, he left. I let out a deep breath and tried to stop my hands from shaking. I knew what was coming. This happened almost every time he got drunk, but I couldn't just stay in my room. Oh no, that would only make things so much worse. I left my room and walked into Gabe's. 

"Put your headphones in, okay?" His eyes filled with sympathy almost immediately. 

"Cas-" 

"Just do it." He grabbed his headphones and plugged them into his phone, "do not take them out. Do you hear me?" He nodded and put them in. I turned around and left, shutting his door behind me. I walked down the first flight of stairs, and then the second. He was waiting. Without a word, I took my shirt and and sweats off, leaving me in nothing but my boxers. I knew the drill. He got up and circled me like a shark circling a life boat. He pushed me down onto the floor and I whimpered, my injuries from the previous beating were not healed. I knew better than to get up. I stayed on the floor as I felt his boot connect with my rib cage. It knocked the wind from my lungs and I struggled to take in a steady breath. He was wearing his steel toed shoes. He kicked me again and again and again until I couldn't take it anymore. I cried out in pain. He took his foot and placed it over my chest, applying as much pressure as possible. I screamed from the pain that caused me. Once he took his foot away, I laid there, a small tear rolling down my cheek. 

"Get up." I did as I was told and slowly pushed myself up off of the floor. "maybe now you'll have some respect for me."   
****  
Later the evening, I was having a lot of trouble breathing. More than usual. I gripped onto my sheets as I sat there, focusing on taking in short, slow breaths. It hurt so bad. I heard a light knock on my door. "Come in, Gabe." When he poked his head in, he looked worried, and his face was splotchy. "I'm fine," I was wheezing. 

"No, you're not." He stepped in and shut the door, walking over to me. "Lift up your shirt." When I didn't comply, he did it for me. When the shirt was pulled up, he gasped. "Castiel.." I pushed his hand away and my shirt fell back into place. It was silent for a couple of minutes. "I heard you screaming." My eyes widened. "Please don't get angry with me..I just...when you heard you screaming I wanted to run down there so bad..but I know better. He doesn't listen when he's drunk." That's why his face is splotchy, he was crying. "It's not fair that he does this to you..." his voice cracked as a tear rolled down his cheek. I pulled him into my arms, careful not to irritate my ribs. 

"Shhh, it's okay." He shook in my arms. "You shouldn't have had to hear that. I'm sorry." He pulled away, wiping at his tears. 

"Why are you sorry? You're the one he's abusing." 

"I know-" 

"No," he stopped me, "you don't know. He abuses you, Castiel. He physically hurts you to the point where you can barely even breath because if you do, it'll hurt too much. He's been doing this for the past 7 years. Enough is enough. You have got to tell someone..Dean, or John. Anyone." 

"What happens when nothing comes of it?" He didn't answer. "Dad is going to be twenty times more pissed than you've ever seen him before, and he'll do a lot more damage than just a couple of broken ribs." After a couple of seconds, realization washed over me. "You think that.." my heart practically shattered in my chest, "you think that one of these days he's going to go a little too far..."  _Oh my god._ "Gabriel," I didn't finish my sentence.  _Maybe enough IS enough. My own brother is scared to death that one day he's going to wake up and realize that our father beat me until I stopped breathing._ I sighed heavily, which was a mistake because a sharp pain went through my entire upper body. "You're right, Gabe. Enough is enough." 

_Dean's P.O.V. . ._

 

"His Dad is going to come looking for him eventually," My eyes fluttered open and everything around me was a blur, "this was a mistake. We shouldn't have done this." I saw the blurred figure of someone.. _something_ pacing back and forth. "God why did I listen to you?" I began to asses the situation I was in as my sight slowly got better and better. There was two people in the building, one male, one female. 

"It's okay," She extended her hand out and grabbed onto his. "Everything is going to be just fine." She leaned in a gave the guy a kiss. 

I moved in the chair I was tied to a bit and groaned. "He's awake," the guy rushed over to my side, "can you hear me?" 

I brought my head up and refrained from groaning a second time, "where am I," my voice came out hoarse and raw. 

"A wearhouse-" 

"What are you gonna do next? Let him call his Dad?" The chick pushed the guy away from me, "don't worry, hun. We don't want to kill you, however," she pulled a dagger from her back pocket, "we do want to hurt you." She dragged it along my jawline soft enough to where it didn't actually cut me. I watched her intently. "Are you scared?" 

I looked her dead in the eyes. "No." 

"Huh," she pulled the knife away, only to bring it to my torso second later, "what if I did this," she shoved it into my rib cage and I clenched my eyes shut, keeping myself from screaming out in pain. "Are you scared now?" 

"You said we weren't going to kill him!" The guy pulled her away. 

"Oh, relax. I made sure I didn't go anywhere near the hear or anything else serious." She smirked and came back over to me and ripped the dagger out. "How does that feel?" I felt the warm blood travel down my torso, "What if I-" she was about to put her finger into the newly formed hole, but the guy stopped her. 

"No more." She growled low in her throat. "Just let him go. If his father was going to come for him, he would have by now." 

She glared at him and sent him flying into the wall. "He's mine and I'll do whatever I damn well please." He was definitely knocked out. "Now," the chick turned her attention back towards me, "let's have some fun." Right as she was about to come at me with the dagger again, I broke free and stood up, forcing myself to not lose balance. "What the-" I decked her in the face, sending her to the ground, her dagger falling with her. I quickly grabbed it and ran, looking for an exit. 

 _Come on, Dean. Think quickly. John has trained you for this sort of thing._ I finally found a way out and I kept running until it was nearly impossible for my lungs to take in air anymore. When I stopped, I had to clue where I was.  _Fuck._

_Castiel's P.O.V. . ._

 

 _"Hi, you've reached Dean. Leave a message at the beeb."_ The line beeped and I groaned. 

"Come on, Dean. This is the third message I've left you, please pick up. It's urgent." I ended the phone call and looked at the last message I sent him, which still said 'Delivered'. "Damnt." I fell back onto my bed, which probably wasn't the best idea because my ribs screamed at me. "Come on, Dean," I looked at my phone screen again, "where are you?" The doorbell rang and I slowly got up to go downstairs and open it. The bell rang twice more. "Just a sec," I opened up the door and Sam walked in. "Hiya, Sam." When I shut the door, he turned to face me. "Gabe S-" 

"No, I'm not here for him." He looked worried. 

"Uhh, nevermind, Gabriel." He began to pace my living room floor. "Sam, what's going on?" 

"Do you have a car?" He continued to pace and mess with his hands. 

"Yeah, my Dad lets me use it to take Gabe and I to and from school, why?" 

"I need you to take me to grand junction, I can't explain why but I think Dean and my dad are in a lot of trouble." I opened my mouth to speak but he stopped me, "just please." His eyes looked red and puffy, he had definitely been crying. Without a word I walked into the kitchen and grabbed my keys, "thank you." I nodded and we walked outside to the driveway, getting into the 2016 chevy trax LT. 

"Can you text Gabe from my phone and tell him I'll be back?" I handed him the cell and he took it, finding Gabe in my contacts and sending the message. After a couple of seconds, Sam let out a small and short lived laugh. "What?" I backed out of the driveway and headed toward the high way. 

"Nothing, it's just...Dean's name in your phone is baby boy." He locked it and placed it in the cup holder between us. "It's just cute to me." 

"Gabe has you in his phone as My Sammy, which I know sounds a little bit weird, but.." I shrugged and smirked. 

"Cute." He put his hands into his lap and looked out the window. "Thank you for taking me, I know I didn't exactly give you a lot of information." 

"Eh, it's fine." After a long and awkward silence, I turned on the radio to Alice 105.9  
*****  
After quite a bit of driving, I pulled up to some old, sketchy looking motel. "I think this is it, park over there." Sam pointed to a vacant spot right next to John's car. "Dean's car isn't here.." Sam seemed to be talking to himself rather than to me. Once we were parked, he got out of the car and walked right into room 7. I was quick to follow. "Dad," when we got inside, Dean was laying on the table with a pool of blood surrounding him and John was trying to patch him up using the first aid kit the motel had. "Dean!" Sam rushed over to Dean's side and John looked up to me. I was mortified. 

"W-what happened.." I couldn't move. 

"Sam, get him out of here, bring him into the bathroom." John focused his attention back to Dean. "Now, Sam!" 

"Come on," Sam escorted me out of the room, his shirt and pants soaked with blood, his hands too. 

"Sam, what happened? Why is Dean bleeding?" I tried to go back into the dining room but Sam shut the door. "Sam, let me back in." 

"My Dad said to get you out of there." 

"Why aren't you guys taking him to the hospital?" I now began to worry. "Sam, please tell me what's going on!" It suddenly felt like my airway was closing. I bent over and put one of my hands across my chest and my breathing slowly worsened. 

"Cas?" Sam put his hand on my back, "Castiel, are you okay?" 

"I..c-can't...breathe." I was shaking and fell to the floor. 

"Dad!" Sam rushed back into the room, "dad, something happened to Castiel." John came out of the room and bent down next to me, blood all of his body. 

"Castiel, can you hear me?" He shined a flashlight or something into my eyes and I squinted. "Are you having a panic attack?" 

_I don't know._

"Alright, I'm going to try to sit you up, okay?" He put both his hands around my rib cage and pulled me up, the pain that followed was excruciating. "What's going on? Why can't you breathe?" I was unable to speak. "I need you to calm down, Castiel." My breathing was still labored and I began to feel light headed. 

 _I'm going to faint._ And with that thought, I fell back down onto the cold tile floor. 

"Alright, that's it," Sam pulled out his phone and called someone. "Hi, I'm at 718 horizon drive. My brother and his friend are hurt pretty badly. Come quick." And with that, he hung up. "You're going to be okay, Cas." Sam watched me intently as John ran back inside and turned his attention towards Dean. I was still trying to regulate my breathing but it had only gotten worse, I was wheezing and now coughing up blood. "Dad, he's coughing up blood!" John said something, but I couldn't hear him. 

_What the hell is happening?_

 

 


	6. Coming Clean

_Castiel's P.O.V. . ._

 

The soft _beep beep_ pf some sort of machine slowly brought me back to consciencenous. I fluttered my eyes open and squinted them at the extremely bright light that was emanating from the ceiling. "D-dean.." my voice came out rigid and choked. 

"Hey, hey. Shhh, don't try and talk." Someone grabbed onto my hand but I couldn't tell who it was. "You've been out for three and half days, your throat is probably very raw due to lack of saliva, and they had to intubate you, so that probably didn't help either." It was Sam. "Are you awake this time? You woke up two days ago for like..a second then passed out again." I turned my head so I could see Sam, it took a moment for my eyes to adjust to the lighting. He smiled. "Hey, Cas." I licked my lips, which were dry and cracking. "Do you want some water?" He grabbed a hospital cup, "I grabbed it for me but I think you need it more." I nodded and he brought the straw to my lips. Once the water hit my tongue, I couldn't stop myself from sucking it down. "Damn, slow down." He laughed and pulled the straw away. "Do you feel better?" 

"A little," my voice was still rough and gravely, more so than usual. "What happened? Everything is kind of foggy." 

"Yeah, they said memory would be a little touchy because of the anaesthesia they used when they operated," My hand instinctively went over the white pad that was covering the post-op stitches that were in a straight line down my chest that was about 7 inches long. He put the cup back on the podium thing that was next to my bed. "Well..you saw Dean covered in blood, then I took you into the bathroom and you kind of just...fainted. Twice. They said you had a collapsed lung due to severe rib trauma," my heart rate sped up and the monitor caught it. "What was that all about?" 

"Oh..n-nothing."  _You can't tell him, not before you tell Dean._

"Don't give me that, Castiel. I saw how bruised your ribs were when they took your shirt off to put in a chest tube to drain the blood. There were bruises everywhere..it was honestly a little scary, even the paramedics were shocked," he paused for a moment, "now the question here is where did they come from?" I nibbled on my bottom lip. "Castiel, please. I just want to help, so does Dean, and my Dad. We're all here for you." 

 _Dean._ "Where is he? Is he okay?" 

"He's fine, he's in the next room over. Don't try and change the subject. What happened to you?" 

I opened my mouth to say something but someone interrupted, "Sam, leave him alone. He endured a lot of trauma." I turned my head, only to see Dean standing there in a hospital gown with his IV bag next to him. "Hiya, baby." He looked pale, and there were dark bags under his eyes. "I can see the way you're looking at me. Is it my face? I know, I look horrific. That's kind of what happens when you lose over 40 percent of your blood." He chuckled lightly. "Sam, could you give us some time?" He nodded and walked out of the room. "Now that we're alone," Dean made his way over to the chair that Sam had previously been sitting in, "we can talk." He sat down next to me.

"You have a lot of explaining to do," I tried to sit up, and while it hurt really bad, I managed to do it anyways. "What the hell happened to you?"

"Uhhh," he laughed again, "that's kind of a long story." After a couple of seconds of silence, he spoke up again, "what happened to you?" I started messing with my fingers idly. "Come on. If you tell me, I'll tell you." He grabbed my hand and rubbed his thumb over the back of it. "Talk to me, babe. They said you had a collapsed lung from one of your broken ribs puncturing it. Yes, I said one. Meaning you had more than one broken rib. Do you know how many you had?" I shook my head. "5 castiel, you have five broken ribs." My breath caught. 

"It's never been this bad before.."

Dean gave me a questioning look, "what hasn't been this bad before?"

 _Come on, Castiel. You promised Gabe you would tell him._ I let out a deep sigh, "My ribs..he uhh..he usually never hurts me this bad..." This time I felt Deans' breath catch as I said the word 'he'. "He meaning my Dad." Shock washed over Dean's face. "My Dad did this..he does it a lot, actually. But never to this extent." I felt tears sting my eyes. "Most of the time it's just a couple of bruises and about two to three weeks of pain, I've never had to go to the hospital." He looked like he was gathering his thoughts. "Well...are you going to say something? You're making me nervous." 

"Castiel..I'm so sorry..." He gripped onto my hand. "How long has he been doing this?"

"uhh," I thought for a minute, "a little over 3 years now." My voice cracked on the word "now" and I bit my lip again as a tear slipped down my cheek. "I'm sorry, I told myself I wasn't to cry," I forced out a small laugh.

"Baby," That shocked expression disappeared, quickly being replaced with sympathy. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?" 

"Because I didn't want Gabe and I to be taken away. That would mean him and I being separated from one another...and from you and Sam." I took a deep breath to calm my nerves, "Gabe and I were talking and he was just so scared that my dad was going to end up.." I shook my head, "anyways, I promised him I would tell you." I sniffled and grabbed a tissue, blowing my nose. "Now that I've told you what happened to me, it's your turn." 

"Cas, respectfully, you can't expect me to just drop this-" 

"I don't. We can come back to it, what happened to you?" 

_Dean's P.O.V. . ._

 

 _Are you going to tell him the truth?_ I thought for a moment,  _of course not! I couldn't possibly do that after everything else he's been through. It will be too much. And now really isn't the time or place._ I sighed inwardly, "Well,"  _think of something believable,_ "my car was making this weird clunking sound, and I decided to pull over into a gas station because normally clunking sounds are not a good sign, so my Dad left me at the gas station to run to the hotel and drop off some things, and then come back to help me fix it. While he was gone, I jacked it up and got underneath it to see if I could figure it out on my own, because you know me, I have to fix everything myself," I laughed, "and as I was inspecting it, a loose car piece that I had put in like, two months ago, fell and stabbed me right here," I put my hand over the healing wound, "My family doesn't have insurance so my Dad brought me back to the hotel, pulled the car piece out, and tried to patch me up, which was around the time you and Sam showed up." I held my breath as I waited for Cas to say something.

"Here I was thinking it was something serious like some crazy person stabbed you." We both laughed, mine was forced because essentially, that is what happened. "Anyways, I'm glad you're okay."

"I'm glad you're okay, too, now, can we talk about your Dad? Like..what are we going to do to get you and Gabe out of there?"

"What can we do? I mean...I don't want Gabe in that house ever again but I'm not sure where to go from here," He paused, "wait, where is Gabe? I texted him on Friday night and told him I would be back, he must me worried sick by now." 

"Don't worry, my Dad drove back to Denver on Saturday and told your dad that there was an accident but not to worry." After a couple of seconds, I realized how that could have gone bad. "Your dad wouldn't ever..beat Gabe, would he?" 

"I don't know..." Cas had a worried look on his face, "I have to get out of here and get back to Denver," He tried to get out of bed, and I walked around to the other side. "Dean, please don't. I have to go." He ripped his IV out and unhooked himself from the heart monitor. 

"Castiel, you can't go anywhere. Your injuries were serious. You need to rest." 

"No," he tried to push me away, "I have to get to Gabe," I noticed he was taking in shallow breaths, "I..have to-" 

"Cas, are you okay?" As soon as I asked, he passed out. "Castiel!" I caught him and he went limp in my arms. "I need a doctor in here!"   
*****  
I was waiting in my room, since my doctors told me that if I wasn't careful, I would rip my stitches. Sam was waiting with me. It had been nearly two hours since they brought Cas back into the OR and I still had no idea why. "I swear to god I'm going to kill his father when I get my hands on him." I was fuming, however I had to focus on Castiel and not his fucked up Dad. "Who the hell even thinks it's okay to beat their kids? It's terrible." 

Sam nodded, "I agree. I just don't understand why Gabe wouldn't tell me. I've told him so many times that he can come to me when he needs something, or if he just wants to talk. He could have told me, Dad would've done something about it. I know he would've." 

"Sammy," I sighed, "it's very hard to come forward about something like that. The abuser manipulates the victim into thinking that if they come forward, no one will believe them, or even worse, they will believe them. That's when the abuser, in this case Jimmy, threatens Castiel and Gabe. He scares them into silence. It's sick and twisted, but it does happen. Gabe didn't tell you because he was scared, not because he didn't trust you or didn't want to tell you, I'm sure he did. He just couldn't." He nodded again. "Don't beat yourself up over it, okay? Now that we know, we're gonna tell Dad and he's gonna do something about it. I promise." 

Sam about about to say something when the doctor walked in, about the same time as my Dad. He quietly made his way over to the seat next to Sam, "Okay, so." The doctor looked like he was about to deliver bad news, "the good news is that Castiel is going to be just fine, we have some surgeons working on him as we speak. 

My Dad spoke up, "why?" 

"The sutures we placed on his lung didn't hold due to the strain his body endured when he was trying to get out of bed and leave, so the tear in his lung opened up again and we had to go back in and fix it. We got to it soon enough so there wasn't any permanent damage, once we're finished, he'll be moved to ICU where he can be monitored more closely until we feel we can release him."

"How bad is the scar going to be?" Now, don't think that I'm asking this question because I care about it, I don't, but I know Castiel has always had a problem with his body, and a 7 inch scar in the middle of his chest is not going to help.

"Well, since we've had to go in and re open the incision, it won't fade out as much as it would've if he had only been opened up once, so it will fade, but it will still always be pretty clear..probably for a very very long time. Of course, there's always things you can do to help. Like using vitamin oils." My face fell almost instantly. "Listen, we have a plastic surgeon here who can help. He generally only works on the face, but I'm sure he'll make an acception." And with that, the doctor left. 

"Why did you ask about the scar?" Sam gave me a questioning look. 

"Cas has always had trouble with his body image, a scar like this isn't going to help." A wave of white hot anger suddenly washed through me. "None of this would be happening if his fucking Father, and I use that word loosely, hadn't of done this to him." I stopped talking once I realized what I had just said. 

"What do you mean?" My Dad looked worried. 

Sighing, I knew I had to tell him. "Castiel's father beats him." John's breath caught. "He's been doing it for quite sometime now." 

"Are you kidding me?" He got out of his seat. "I invited that..fucking child abuser into my home. I treated him with respect, we became friends." He looked like he was going to be sick. "We're getting Gabe and Castiel out of that home. Today." 

"What are you going to do?" Sam was now the one that looked worried. "You aren't going to make them go away, are you?" 

"Come here," Sam stood up and my dad hugged him, "I would never send them away. I'm going to get ahold of one of my friends at child protective services, by the end of the day I'll have emergency custody, and we'll go from there." 

"Dad," he let go of Sammy and looked over to me, "you promise you won't let them take Castiel and Gabe away?" 

He gave me a sympathetic smile. "I promise." 


	7. Adjusting

_Castiel's P.O.V. . ._

 

I stood in front of the bathroom mirror observing the scar that now covered a good portion of my sternum. I carefully ran my fingers over it. It was now almost three post surgery and the stitches had been removed about a week ago, so the scar was at that stage where it had already scabbed over and now it was just dry. I didn't really hate the scar but I didn't necessarily like it, either. _As if I didn't hate my body enough already._ I heard a knock on the door and I scrambled to get my shirt on. "Just a sec," once it was on, I unlocked the door. 

"Hey," Dean smiled as he came into the bathroom and shut the door behind him, "dinner is ready but honestly I'm kind of hungry for something else." He had me against the sink, his hands on my hips. I instinctively wrapped my hands around his waist and pulled him closer. "So I'm not the only one." We both laughed as we pulled in for a kiss. It was sweet and gentle, full of nothing but love. He slipped his hand under my shirt and I let myself enjoy it for a moment but it was short-lived. 

"Hey," he stopped and looked at me, "not yet, okay?" He smiled and removed his hand. I felt a little guilty. "You don't mind, do you?" 

"Of course not, baby. You aren't ready yet and that's understandable." He placed his hand on my cheek and started moving his thumb in a small circle. "I don't want to pressure you if you aren't ready." I kissed him again, "As much as I'd like to stay and make out with you, I am actually kind of starving." I laughed and he intertwined our hands as he lead us out of the bathroom and downstairs into the kitchen. "Oh," he stopped before we got in, "John wants to talk about when you want to go back to school. Just thought I should mention it so you weren't blindsided." My heart rate sped up a little bit. 

"Thank you." I smiled and we walked into the kitchen together. 

"Hey," Gabe was sitting on the counter with a plate in his hand, and spaghetti sauce rimming the edge of his lips. "John makes the best spaghetti, you have to try it." John chuckled. 

He handed me a plate with some noodles and sauce, as well as a piece of garlic bread and an italian sausage link. "Okay so, your Principal called and was wondering when you were going to come back. He said there's no rush, he doesn't want to force you into coming back too early." Suddenly the entire room stood still. 

"Guys, it's okay. School isn't a bad word," I grabbed a fork from the silverware drawer and sat down. 

"We know that," John handed Dean a plate and he came over to sit down next to me, "it's just, I know you've probably heard what the kids are saying at school and-" 

"What? That the freaky kid who never talks in class and has no friends had an abusive father?" John looked shocked at my sudden little burst of anger. Sighing, I shook my head. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for that to come out the way it did.." 

"It's fine, it's understandable." He grabbed his plate and then sat down across from Dean and I. "I just want you to know that it doesn't matter what any of them think or say," he paused for a moment, "If you don't want to go back quite yet I'll email Sargent after dinner and tell him that you aren't ready. He'll understand." I thought about it for a couple of minutes, "there's really no rush. You aren't behind in any of your classes, and your grades aren't hurting from you being absent. So, really. Take your time." 

"No, I want to go back." Dean looked over to me. 

"Babe, are you sure?" 

"To be honest, I'm going a little stir crazy in this house." Dean grabbed onto my hand and squeezed it lightly. "Email Sargent and tell him I'm gonna come in on monday." John looked skeptical. "What? I'm ready to go back, I am." Without any argument, he nodded and started eating. _You can't take it back now._  
*****  
I heard the whispering as I walked by, and noticed the looks of pity that I received. There were people who never had any interest in becoming my friend talking to me, and telling me that we should hang out sometime and inviting me to parties. It was all just so..baffling, to say the least. I was pulled from my thoughts when a girl, who used to treat me like nothing but a piece of trash on the side of the road, tried to give me her number. She smiled as she handed me a sticky note. "We should go to a movie sometime."

I stared at the note that she was holding in front of me, suddenly very angry. "Is this really what it takes to get you people to notice me?" She was taken aback by my tone of voice, "an abusive father?" Everyone in the hallway had stopped doing whatever they were doing to focus their attention to me, "or maybe it was the lung surgery," I gave a condescending smile, "no, wait, that would be a result of the abusive father," I laughed, "I'm sorry, the details get jumbled up sometimes." Everyone was dead silent. You could probably hear a pin drop. "All of you guys," I looked around at my peers, "almost every single one of you that have come up to me today, inviting me to parties or asking to hang out, you all treated me like shit at some point in middle school and it carried on in highschool. You guys used to throw words like "fag" and "cock sucker" in my face just for the fuck of it. You used to push me down in the hallways and scatter my books and papers all over the floor just so I would have an even harder time picking everything back up. You guys treat me like nothing more than the common rat. And now suddenly you want to be my friend? Why? Because I had an abusive father?" They all stared at me, shocked to hear so many words coming out of my mouth at once. "Okay, yeah. I had an abusive parent, and yes he put me in the hospital. Get over it and stop pitying me." I took the note from the girl's hand and tore it up, throwing it away in the nearest trashcan before walking off. My ribs were still kind of bugging me so I went to the nurses office to get an icepack. 

"Hey," Dean was in the front office. 

"Hi," I had the icepack in hand and he suddenly looked worried. "I'm fine, just in a little bit of pain." 

"Do you want to go home? John said it would be okay if-" 

"No, I do not want to leave. I want you to leave me the hell alone." And with that, I walked out of the office out to the student parking lot. All of this was just too much, _maybe I shouldn't have come back so soon.._

"Hey, Cas. Wait up." Dean jogged to catch up to me. "What was that all about?" I continued walking, "Stop." He grabbed onto my arm and we both jolted to a stop. "Talk to me, baby. Did someone say something to you?" Without any warning, I started crying. "Babe," Dean pulled me closer and I wrapped my arms around him as the tears flowed down my cheeks. "Shhh, it's okay." He rubbed my back and kissed my head as I shook in his arms. "You should not have come back so soon, I'm sorry I let you." The steady thump-thumping of his heart calmed me down. Once I was sure I was done crying, I pulled away. "Are you alright?" He placed both his hands on either of my shoulders. 

"I'm fine," Sighing heavily, I wiped the access and sniffled. "I'm sorry I snapped at you, I shouldn't have." 

"Don't even worry about it, babe." He pulled me a little bit closer and kissed my forehead. "Here's what we're gonna do, we're gonna go by larkburger and get your favorite hamburger along with some of those greasy french fries that you love so much, as well as a strawberry milkshake because I know you're a sucker for those," I chuckled lightly, "and then we're gonna go home and lay down and watch some netflix." 

"Can we watch more Grey's Anatomy?" 

Dean smiled. "You bet we can." He took my hand and lead me over to his car.   
After we had gotten home and ate, we were in bed and I was huddled up next to Dean, our legs a tangled mess and my head resting on his chest. He was shirtless, just the way I liked when we cuddled. The warmth from his body radiated onto me and I loved it. No, scratch that. 

I love HIM.


	8. You're my home.

_Castiel's P.O.V. . ._

 

"Dean, let's go! We have to check in by three." I checked my watch, seeing that it was now 1;45, we still had a semi-long drive ahead us. 

"You know," Dean's voice traveled down the stairs, "normal people don't go to a hotel that's said to be haunted, that's like begging for something bad to come our way." He opened up the door and I rolled my eyes. He threw his bag down to me and I caught it with a grunt, "and before you even ask, yes I'm scared. Sue me." I chuckled and shook my head as I walked out to the car, sighing heavily. I took a couple of shaky breaths in, stopping as I got to the car. I closed my eyes and focused on breathing shallowly so no pain would come. "Come on, Castiel. We have to check in by three." Dean walked up behind me, his voice mock. 

"You shut it," I turned around and snaked an arm around his waist, pulling him in flush against me. "A full 48 hours with this.." I let his hand slip down to his ass and I grabbed it. "I like it." Smiling, I stood on my tip toes so I could kiss his forehead.

"A full 48 hours with ghosts..I don't like it." Dean was pouting. 

"Oh, come on. You don't actually believe in all of that stuff, do you?" 

_Dean's P.O.V. . ._

 

 _Of course I do._ I shrugged. "I don't know. I've always believed that there's other..things out there. Things that aren't, you know, normal." Castiel looked at me questioningly, "you know what, never mind." I smiled and gave him a kiss. 

"No, I wanna talk about this." Cas gave me a warm look. 

"Alright, we'll talk about it on the way up there. Give me the keys." He pulled the keys out of his pocket and placed them in my hand. "Let's go." We both got into the car and once we were both buckled in and everything, I put the keys in the ignition and revved up the engine.

"So," Cas looked over to me as I twisted around so I could back out of the driveway, "you really believe in all of that supernatural stuff? Like..ghosts that possess people and werewolves that shift on the full moon?" 

"Well, they can actually shift whenever they want to but the full moon only enhances-" I stopped when I realized what I was saying, "I've read a lot about werewolves." I gave a sly smile as I headed down to I-75. "And, to answer your question, yes. I do believe in the supernatural...you know, the things that your parents always told you were just nightmares. The things that go bump in the night." Cas chuckled. "What's so funny?" My brows furrowed. 

"Oh, nothing. It's just," he paused for a second, "I never really pegged you to be the type to believe in all of that kind of stuff. I figured you'd be more of a 'it's only real if I've seen it' sort of guy." 

_Oh, you have no idea, Baby.._

"Only 20 minutes into this trip and I've already learned something new about you. I like it." I didn't respond. "Okay, next question. Do you really think the hotel we're going to is haunted? Is that why you were so adamant on not going?" 

"Have you heard anything about the Stanley hotel?" He shook his head. "Well, the  story of the Stanley Hotel extends back through pre-history when the Estes Valley was a wild and lonely parkland, visited from time to time by wandering tribes of Ute and Arapaho. When early settlers arrived, they stayed because, on the frontier, they could be truly free.The Earl of Dunraven came in 1872 and jealously coveted this “sportsman’s paradise” of rushing streams and peaceful meadows alive with fish and game. Dunraven sought to possess the valley and create a private hunting preserve. However, his claims were disputed and, as more and more Americans were drawn by the natural beauty of Estes Park, he began to realize that this dream could never be. In 1903, the Yankee inventor Freelan Oscar Stanley arrived, weak and underweight from the symptoms of consumption. One season spent in the refreshing climate of the wild valley was enough to restore his health to a formidable vigor, and he vowed to return each summer for the rest of his life. However, he and his wife Flora were used to the sophistication of East Coast society and the little community of Estes Park offered little to stimulate and challenge this multi-talented genius. They resolved to build a beautiful grand hotel, the likes of which might only be found in the resorts of the wealthy." 

"This story sounds so boring so far." I rolled my eyes. "Did people get murdered? Was there a serial killer on the lose?" I shook my head. "Some sort of supernatural creature?" His tone was mock.

"Shut up and listen," I cleared my throat, continuing the story. "Management of such an establishment, they thought, would provide all the diversion they desired. When the Stanley Hotel opened in 1909, the first guests, who pulled up in stylish Stanley-designed steam cars, were astonished. Here in this mountain wilderness, surrounded by the rustic haunts of the hunter and homesteader, was an edifice that withstood comparison with the posh-est hotels “back east.” Electric lights, telephones, en suite bathrooms, a staff of uniformed servants and a fleet of automobiles were at their disposal. Naturally, Stanley had also done much to develop the burgeoning town. By 1917, it was an official municipality with water-works, a power plant, and civic organizations that were all, in some way, thanks to Stanley. His friendship with naturalist Enos Mills was forged by his tireless efforts towards the creation of the Rocky Mountain National Park, perhaps his most lasting legacy. Flora Stanley played no small part. Everything Freelan did was because of his devotion to Flora."

"He was so whipped," I groaned. "Okay, okay. "I'm sorry. Continue talking." 

I glared at him playfully for a moment before going on, "Despite her failing eyesight, she worked among the local ladies’ organizations to help her husband accomplish his projects. By the 1970s the hotel’s splendor had faded and it had gained a reputation for being haunted. It might have continued to fade and eventually have succumbed to the wrecking ball, if not for a fortuitous visit by author Stephen King. A stay of one night was enough to inspire his third major work and first hard-cover bestseller – The Shining – which remains a landmark masterpiece in a long and well-known list of novels. More recently, the Stanley’s paranormal past has been fully embraced. After a century of collecting spirits, the hotel has become renowned by specialists and experts in the field of paranormal investigation as one of the nation’s most active sites. Chief amongst the hotel’s eternal guests are F.O. and Flora Stanley who continue to go about the business of running their beloved establishment as though they were still alive; Flora’s antique Steinway can be heard playing in the dead of night and Mr. Stanley has been captured in photographs surveying the goings-on in the Billiards Room, once his favorite place. The hotel stands today as a beautifully-restored testament to its glory days, when it served as a holiday retreat for wealthy urbanites." 

"So, people have died there?" I was about to speak up but Cas interrupted, "no, the original owners died there, and they continue living every day as if they hadn't. So, basically like living their entire after lives doing what they did in back in the 1900s." I nodded. He smiled. "Wow, that is pretty fascinating..do you think it's actually real? Like...so they actually haunt the place?" 

"Not just them, others, too." Cas gave me a questioning look. "It's said that Stanley went crazy when Flora started to lose her sight, and he started hearing voices that told him to kill people in an attempt to save his wife's sight." 

"So there is gory parts!" I smiled at Castiel's enthusiasm. "So you're serious about thinking it's haunted?" I shrugged. "Oh man, this is going to be so much fun." 

 _Instead of keeping him away from this place, I'm just drawing him closer._ Once he started showing interest in this hotel, my Dad told me to keep him from actually going, seeing as how we worked a case there back in 09' and we never quite finished the job, there was just too many spirits. _Maybe this is a good thing. He needs to know._ I shook my head. _Yeah, but not like this. This is one of the most dangerous places in the entire world, if the spirits are disturbed, even just a little bit, someone, or multiple people, could end up dead._ This could either go really great, or terribly wrong, and it was nearly impossible to figure out which one it'll be.  _Definitely could have started him off with some ghost that was too afraid to cross, or even a newly turned vamp. Something much more simpler than a bunch of pissed of spirits that get angry if you so much as move a single piece of dust._ I began to recall my near death experience with one of them, all because I left a can on the nightstand. This was not the place for him to be, but I couldn't stop him. I can only protect him.   
And that's exactly what I planned on doing.  
*******  
"Here we are," we pulled up to the absolutely breathtaking view which was the hotel. It was undeniably gorgeous, seeing as how there hadn't been any renovations on it since it was first built, only minor touch ups every once in awhile but nothing that altered its originality. 

"It's amazing," Cas got out of the car and stared for a couple of minutes. "I can't wait to get inside." Someone came out from the entrance dressed in the exact uniforms they wore back in the 1900s.

"Good afternoon, my name is Augustus. May I help with your bags?"

"Oh, yeah. Of course." Castiel led him to the back of Baby. "I'm Cas, and this is-" 

"Dean," the bellboy smiled at me. "I know the both of you." That struck me as I bit weird. "You had reservations, we were expecting you. I'll bring these up to your room." He reached for the three duffel bags but I stopped him. 

"Just these two," I pulled Cas' and mine out, leaving the black and green one. 

He smiled and took them. "I will bring them up to the room." And with that, he turned around and headed back into the hotel.

"That was weird," we both got back into the car and brought it around to the parking lot. I grabbed the other bag from the trunk. "Let's go inside and check in," I grabbed Cas' hand and we walked into the hotel, being hit with a gust of ice cold air; Something that wasn't caused by the AC.

Cas shivered. "It's a little cold in here." We walked over to the front counter where we could pick up our tickets.

"Hi, we're here to check in."

A lady wearing a nice deep blue suit with a pen skirt looked up from her computer, smiling. "Ah yes, Mr. Novak and Mr. Winchester. We've been expecting you." She typed something into the desktop and then disappeared into the back, coming back about a minute later  "I assumed the both of you were going to need a key, so I grabbed two." She handed them to me and Cas took one. "Your bags are in the room, if there's anything else we can help you with, just let us know." She smiled again.

We turned around and headed to the elevator. "The people around here are awfully cheerful, don't you think?"

Castiel shrugged. "They're just giving good costumer service, that's all." I nodded in agreement, not wanting to talk about it any more.

 _There is definitely something else going on._ Once we got to the room, Castiel went to use the restroom and I took that time to hide the other duffel under the bed, but not before grabbing the EMF detector and turning it on. It started beeping like crazy. Groaning inwardly, I shut it off and put it back in the bag, shoving the thing under the bed. Castiel came out of the bathroom and ran over to me, jumping onto my back causing me to fall down onto the mattress. " I see someone is feeling playful," I laughed as he got off and rolled over next to me, I took the opportunity to roll over on top of him, placing both my hands on either side of his head. "I now have you all to myself." 

"What are you going to do with me now?" Without saying another word, I brought my lips to his in a hot and fiery kiss. He separated his lips to let my tongue in. I explored every single inch of his mouth. He moaned softly and I moved my lips from his mouth, to his jaw bone, then to his neck. "Fuck," I was about to take his shirt off when the lights flickered. I stopped immediately. "The lights are being funky.." Cas looked around the room, "I wonder if it could be the ghosts," I couldn't tell if he was joking or not.

"Ha, ha. Very funny." I got off of him and off the bed. "I'm gonna run and get some ice, why don't you go shower and use that rose smelling soap I love." He smiled, grabbing his bag and going into the bathroom. Once I heard the shower turn on, I grabbed the bag from beneath the bed and opened it up, grabbing my shotgun and pistol with iron bullets. Leaving the room, I headed left down the hall. The lights flickered in and out again and I mentally scaled the place, making sure I didn't miss anything. When I reached the end of the hall, the lights went out completely. "Great," Sighing inwardly, I look a right, which led me to another long and eery hallway. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up and I knew someone.. _something_ , was behind me. I slowly turned, my eyes widening at the sight.

"Dean Winchester," Stanley himself looked me dead in the eye.

"Stanley," I kept the gun pointed at him. "Nice to see you again."

"But of course," he did this weird half-bow thing. It was a way of greeting someone back then. "If I do recall, the last time you were here, you got rid of 9 of my people." He gave me a challenging stare.

"Oh, you mean the people that you killed?" I scoffed. "Trust me, wherever they went is better than here, with you."

He put a hand over his chest. "I'm hurt." Rolling my eyes, I cocked the gun. "Do it. Shoot me." He waited expectantly but I couldn't, not when there was rooms full of people just down the hall. Too many people would get spooked. "Exactly, I knew you wouldn't." He disappeared and my eyes roamed the hallway. I was suddenly thrown across the hallway and into a wall. My shotgun bounced off and slid under what I assumed to be some sort of cooling thing. "You have some real guts, coming here after the stunt you pulled 7 years ago." I groaned as I put the hand on the back of my head, noticing that it was slick.

 _Great. I'm bleeding._ "Listen, I don't want any trouble." Stanley scoffed, "I only came here for a vacation, I didn't want to bother anyone." 

"Even if you tried, I have eyes on you at all times. I can't always do it, there's things that must be done around here."

My brows furrowed. "What do you mean you have eyes on me?"

"I'm sure you know," and with that, he disappeared, taking the piercing cold with him.

"Fuck," I got up and walked over to the AC thing, picking up my gun. _We have to get out of here._ My head was pounding and I felt the blood trickle down the back my neck as I ran back into the room, when I got there, I realized that I had forgot my key. "Cas, open up." I knocked a couple of times.He opened the door in nothing but a towel. I pushed past him and grabbed my duffel from under the bed. "We're leaving." He looked at me for a moment.

"You're kidding, right?" I opened up the bag and put my shotgun in there, keeping the pistol on me. "Dean, is that a gun?" I ignored him, grabbing him some clothes from his bag and tossing them at him. 

"Get dressed." The lights went out for a moment, then turned back on. "Fuck," I got into my bag and grabbed the thing of salt, bringing it over to the door and making a straight line, "Do not break these lines," I walked over to the window and salted it, "I can promise you that you won't like that comes next." I pulled out my phone to call my Dad in case we needed help.

"Dean!" Cas took my phone. "Tell me what the hell is going on."

"Castiel, not now." I took it back and decided not to tell anyone.

"Fine." He changed and opened up the door, created a gap in the salt line.

"No!" He was about to wall out of the door when a ghost showed up in front of it, pulling Castiel out of of the room and throwing him into the door across the way. He groaned and tried to get up. "Fuck it," I grabbed the shot gun and cocked it, shooting the salt bullet right through the ghost. I knew people would be coming soon so I scrambled to grab our bags and I jogged out of the room to Castiel, "C'mon, babe." I put his hand over my shoulder and pulled him up. "We gotta go," we sped walked out of the hotel and over to the impala. I put Cas in the passenger seat and put the bags in the back seat, seeing as how I didn't have time to poop the trunk. I grabbed the keys from my pocket and got into the drivers side, starting the car up and speeding off. I glanced over to Cas. "Are you good?"

"What the hell was that?" He looked terrified.

"I think you already know the answer to that."

"No," He gulped, "it wasn't. I was just seeing things. I was just seeing things." He seemed to be talking to himself rather than me.

"You weren't seeing things, Castiel."

"Are you telling me that," he paused for a second, "that what I was was a ghost? An actual live..dead ghost?" I nodded. He shook his head. "No," after a couple of minutes, he tried to open the door. "I have to get out of here."

"Woah, woah. Castiel. Stop."

"I have to get out of here!" I halted to a stop, unlocking the doors. He got out and slammed the door shut. I pulled the keys out of the ignition and followed suit, it was dark out so I couldn't see much.

"Babe," he was bent over, "are you okay?"

"No, I'm not okay!"

"Okay," I sighed inwardly, "I'll admit that was a stupid question."

He stood up straight. "So that was a real ghost?" I nodded. "Real supernatural creature?" I nodded again. "Then that means.."

"Yep," We were both silent for a minute.

"I need to hear you say it."

I sighed, "Castiel, we don't have to do this right now. Let's go back to the car and drive home and we can talk about it there. Now is not the time and certainly not the place, you're pretty unsteady right now-"

"Say it!" I couldn't really see his eyes but I felt them burning into me.

"Monsters do exist." He let out a straggled moan-groaning sound. "All kind of them, from Vampires to Elves. They're real. And I," _do you really want to tell him?_ I took in a deep breath. _Yes._ "I hunt them, so does my Dad, and my brother."

"This is all..this is all too much." He walked over to the back seat and opened it, grabbing his bag.

"What are you doing?" I turned on my phone flashlight.

"I have to get out here, I can't do this right now." He started walking back the way we came to get here.

"Castiel," he continued walking, "Castiel Novak, you stop right now."

He turned around, throwing his hands up in the air. "No, Dean."

"You're just in shock, and it's a lot to take in, I know." I gave him a look of sympathy.

"This is too much right now. With everything that's happened, I don't think that I can do this." He looked like he was getting teary eyed.

"No.."

"I have too much going on right now. I just.." He let out a breath, "can't." And with that, he turned around and started walking. I didn't even bother stopping him this time. Nothing I had to say would stop him.

After a solid ten minutes of just standing there, I broken down. "Oh my god," My voice was shaky and I leaned against baby for support, my hands on the trunk. "God no," My heart was practically shattering in my chest. _Please tell me this isn't happening..._ I felt like my throat was closing, suddenly it was hard to breathe. I screamed and punched the car, not feeling a thing. "Son of a bitch!" 

_Castiel's P.O.V. . ._

 

I had been waiting at a gas station for John to come pick me up. He pulled in 30 minutes after I had arrived. Rolling down his window, he smiled at me. "Need a ride, kid?" Ignoring his question, I opened up the door and hopped in. He pulled out and headed towards the highway. "Are you going to tell me what happened?" I meekly shook my head. "Well, alright." He turned his attention back to the road.   
Once we got back to the house, I could see that Dean wasn't there. "Oh yeah, he texted me and told me that he wouldn't be home for a bit," John gave me a look of sympathy. Once we were out of the car and he was halfway to the door, I spoke up.

"Why didn't he tell me earlier?" He stopped, turning to face me.

"What?"

I rolled my eyes. "Don't play dumb. Why didn't he tell me sooner?"

"Listen, Castiel, this isn't my conversation to have."

"Tell me, John," I gave him a pleading look. "Please."

"Well," He paused for a second, "I'm no expert in talking to people and explaining all of this to someone I love but I'm assuming Dean didn't tell you sooner because he knew you would react like...well, like this."

"I wasn't wrong to react the way I did. He lied to me, kept something from me. That is not okay." John shrugged. "It isn't!"

"Are you trying to convince me, or yourself?" And with that, he walked into the house.   
*******  
It was now 3 in the afternoon and I was in Dean's room staring at the picture collage he had of us on his wall. We were smiling and laughing in nearly every single photo. We had so many happy times together. Heartbreak suddenly hit me like a freight train. I swiped at a tear that slid down my cheek. _Fuck._ I sniffled and wiped my nose on my sleeve.

"I didn't tell you because I care about you," I knew that voice almost immediately. I didn't turn around. "I kept this from you because I didn't want you to get hurt like you did at the hotel." I could feel him slowly getting closer. "Everyone who's involved in this lifestyle, they're either dead or they may as well be dead because you can't have someone you love in this kind of business with you." He was right behind me now. "Hunting is what got my mom killed, and my best friend Charlie. My brother's friend Crowley, hell, even my 9th grade bio teacher. All Dead because of what my family does." He paused for a moment. "And now that I've told you, my worst fear has come true." He wrapped his arms around me and rested his head on my shoulder. "Please don't leave," he began to shake lightly. He was crying. I turned around so I could give him a proper hug. He instantly pulled me in and squeezed me tight. "You're my home, Castiel." His voice cracked. "No matter how away I am, no matter what I do in life, you will still always be my home." My heart ached. "I love you so much, Castiel Novak. Just please don't leave." He shook in my arms.

"Shhh, shhh. It's okay." I rubbed his back gently. "I'm fine, you're fine. We're fine." I had started crying. "I'm not going to leave you, I promise." He continued to shake. "I love you, Dean Winchester." After a couple of minutes of silence, I spoke up. "I'm never going to let you go."


End file.
